I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
He kissed a someone with a penis
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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