I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
