they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
