just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize