I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Randomize
