I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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