I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
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