playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
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