you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
So vagazzling was a success
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
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