too bad you live with your parents still
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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