Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
