PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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