you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
