Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
