Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
