please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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