So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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