I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I seem to have left my pride at pride
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
