We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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