One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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