Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
