I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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