Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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