when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
