haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
