Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
