No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
