R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
