If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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