dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
