were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
