I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Bring me that man meat
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
