Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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