So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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