her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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