Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
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