she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I love how my cats smell like pot.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
