WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
