Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
