There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
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