I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
