Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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