but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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