Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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