Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
3 2 1 whiskey
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize