Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
