we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
