Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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