Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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