I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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