We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
