Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize