dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
