We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
