just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
