Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
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