On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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