He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
